Moody Mania: Womb Mates

While watching a recent awards show:
Me: "Look at Cee Lo Green tearing up that piano!"
Ryan: "Katharine, that's Stevie Wonder. Even he can see that's not Cee Lo..."

Oops. Ok, I'll admit that lately my brain has been on hiatus. With my mind wandering in a million directions I frequently forget why I walked in a room, who I'm calling on the other line, and even my initials- just kidding on that one. That's what monogramming is for!

Some call it a frivolous purchase; I call it proactively fighting amnesia.

But there is one thing that can always snap me back to earth, and that is when my sweet little girl moves around and has a party inside my stomach. It is the most amazing feeling. In all the ~~unnecessary~~ pregnancy books I've bought they say that most women don't feel the baby until around 18-20 weeks. But I'll never forget the first time I felt Emerson move and knew without question that it was her.

It was at only 15 weeks along during our Houston trip that I was up at 3:00 am with an insomnia spell while watching American Idol in our hotel room. And my baby girl flipped!

If anything could get a rise out of Emerson it had to be Candice Glover's gospel singing. Good LAWD the girl can belt it!!! Ever since then I have felt tons of movement, and just this past Monday during our sales meeting my little womb mate was having a fit.

I hear ya, honey. I don't want to be here either.

But should all this movement come as a surprise to anyone? If history is any indication my Emerson is going to be a spitting image of her mother- all over the place and into everything.

Early childhood: the only time when 'pot head' is a term of endearment.

Almost every night without fail I am wide awake for a two hour period- usually from 2-4 or 3-5. Ryan must suspect that we have a night time fairy that straightens the house without being seen. I try to do everything in my power to go to sleep- even think about sales spreadsheets- and my efforts prove to be futile. It is during such times when one is vulnerable to great danger....such as infomercials.

You could probably market packaged cat poop at 4:00 am and it would peak my interest. But perhaps the most useless thing in which I ever invested was the 'Ab Rocker'...

Get a six pack of abs with no more motion than your average rocking chair! Are you kidding me? Get a grip. I can't even believe this thing made it on television. Getting visible abs from this device is as likely as a shark befriending a bleeding seal. It's. not. happening.

This ab device is currently ~~being used as a door stop~~ sitting in the clearance section of a Goodwill.

While we're on the subject of useless, allow me to briefly elaborate on my insurance provider. Ever since my company switched to a different plan I have received an incorrect doctor's bill three times. What would seem like a simple phone call to speak to someone live and resolve this proved to be more difficult than:

A) Building a sandcastle out of quicksand

B) Taking Tom Cruise in Ethan Allen and asking him not to jump on the furniture

C) Recreating the world in seven days

But every day I learn that frustrations such as these are part of being an adult. BLAH.

In fact, my entire next commission check will go to pay my car taxes and insurance. Suddenly my Huffy Bike from elementary school looks enticing again.

Every time I have to pay a large bill I cringe and think, "That could have been a new pocketbook..."

Join my 'Save the Endangered Handbags campaign' today.

For me, this past weekend was busier than a typical day in the life of Ryan Seacrest.

Right after arriving in town on Friday evening Ryan, my parents, and I attended the Art of Marriage conference until 10:00 that night and then again on Saturday from 9:00 - 4:00. Bless Ryan's heart. I don't know many 28 year old guys that would sacrifice a large portion of their weekend to talk about marriage, but we wanted to do it for ourselves and to better prepare us as parents.

Anyone who is married or even thinking about getting married should attend the Art of Marriage. They discuss topics that many couples don't address because they just don't want to, it's awkward, or they want to avoid an argument.

But topics such as finances and feelings will be addressed anyway, if nothing else but by our actions, and avoiding these subjects completely could lead a marriage down a negative path.

One of the things I really took away from this weekend was guarding your heart and putting on the full armor of God...Ephesians 6:11. The truth is that we should always have our hearts on guard and be on the defense against things that will displease Him and have a negative impact on a marriage. For some it may resisting temptation in the form of X rated movies, drugs, alcohol, and affairs, and for others it may refer to time. If you are chatting on the computer or constantly watching television you are never really present in the moment and in turn neglecting your spouse.

One thing is for sure: I wouldn't trade a moment spent with my shining star, Ryan.

The conference ran a little over the scheduled time on Saturday afternoon, and like Cinderella I was whisked away to my next commitment so as not to be late. I was asked to be a part of the 9th annual Sing Fling at a local church, which is a fundraiser for their church members' kids to go on mission trips. I was honored and blessed to have this opportunity and of course said yes with no reservations whatsoever.

I met SO many nice people who were beyond kind and welcomed me with open arms, and I'll jump at the chance to serve Him through music with any opportunity I get.

On Sunday after church, lunch, and visiting Ryan's grandparents, I went to Amy's senior recital that afternoon. She is such a smart girl with a bright future ahead of her, and of course I had to see Mr. Robin. Everyone LOVES that man!!!

Faster than a nascar vehicle with a built in rocket we zoomed right into this week's schedule with even more fun and excitement- like our first childbirth class on Monday evening.

I honestly didn't know what to expect.

Please don't tell me it was going to be one of those awkward lamaze breathing classes.

The only times I'd have trouble breathing are as follows:

A) The customer in front of me in Belk gets the last dress in my size

B) I get hit by a shell during the final lap of a Mario Kart race

C) Our Outback server informs me that they are out of cheese fries

And leave it to me to park in the wrong garage, sending us on a twenty minute excursion to find our way to the designated classroom. Eighteen hallways, six elevators, and four security guards later we made it on time.

Hospital directory/Map

Aside from a few awkward videos and discussions on unpleasant side effects and potential crises it was a very informative and helpful first class. We also met some really nice couples, including one girl whose husband is deployed right now. I can't imagine that kind of sacrifice, because I'd want Ryan by my side every step of the way like he has been. When I get a moment I fully intend to thank this girl and tell her how much I appreciate her husband's service.

And what good is a class without free snacks? Now the instructor really had my attention.

Of course Ryan's first question upon viewing the class schedule and 6:30 pm start time was, "Who's serving us dinner?"

You just don't get between Ryan and a home cooked meal, but we ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before dashing out of the door.

Time is never on my side...

Take my recent trip to the Dollar Store, for example, where I got in line behind a woman paying with a check and a cashier who didn't know how to run it through the register (double inconvenience), FOLLOWED by a young girl paying for beach supplies with rolled coins that had to be counted one by one.

Do these things only happen to me???

In other news we have received several wonderful gifts for sweet baby Emerson, and I appreciate each and every one from the bottom of my heart.

From left to right, top to bottom:

1. A plush bunny blanket from the Fabulous Fitzgibbons

2. A Curious George Bach/Mozart musical CD and book from the Sensational Shuttleworths

3. A wool hat knitted by my Amazing Aunt Polly

4. Huggies diapers/wipes and a matching Vera Bradley changing pad & bottle cover from Marvelous Maggie and Aaron

5. Tutu socks from the Lovely Linda Lane

Plus several outfits from Emerson's grandparents, of course, two of which are featured here:

Seriously, I'm never giving any of her things away, especially the clothes. I'll just have a permanent warehouse constructed in our backyard, which our Homeowners Association will surely love.

Besides, I've always said I'd rather have clothes hanging in the closet than extra savings in the bank...

Lastly, we had almost every window in our house professionally tinted today, because A) this heat is unbearable, and B) our last electric bill was horrifically painful.

This will hurt you much more than it hurts me.