Sound the Alarm

"That's what your voice is like to me sometimes."
- Ryan, to me, as his alarm clock makes an incredibly loud, annoying noise.

Which begs the question: who decided to name it that?  Why must we be alarmed every morning?

Don't misunderstand me; I am very thankful to be able to work and pay the bills.  With that said there are about 863,000 things I'd rather do each morning than get out of bed.  Here are a few that come to mind.


Swimming in a sea full of these guys while holding packs of hamburger meat.

Getting locked in one of these until further notice.

Being summoned for scoop doody duty at the elephant exhibit.

Listening to Gilbert Gottfried read aloud the entire Encyclopedia.

Running into oncoming traffic wearing this outfit while waving a Liberty Tax sign.

Accompanying this family to an etiquette dinner with the Queen.

Attending the burial service of a sweet, cuddly kitten.

Being stuck in a confined or even large space while someone smokes a cigarette.

I take that back; I'd actually prefer to be working in that case.

Cleaning this building with a single bottle of windex and step stool.

Being under the care of Kathy Bates while sick.

Taking this guy for a leisurely, neighborhood stroll.

Having Miss SC Teen 2007 as my bus driver on a world trip.

"Some people don't have maps."

Being one of these bugs.

Playing a game of cards with this lady.

Repairing cockpit controls after spilling a drink on them.

Waking up to this.

I think my point has been made.

Just this morning a customer called SEVEN times and chewed me out because they hadn't paid their bills and we therefore couldn't service their machine.  REALLY?

So perhaps I should refrain from paying my mortgage and take it out on my real estate agent who sold me the house?

"How's that working for you?"

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18

Since I'm a glass half full kind of person, I strive to focus on the positives.  And although there are circumstances and work related things that make us want to jump out of the nearest window, we remain kind at heart.

Like the time I went to Advanced Auto Parts with a weak car battery.  Poor Horace (name changed to protect the innocent) insisted that I shouldn't charge my cell phone battery with the car off.

About eight times he said, "You gotta get your car CRUNK (aka cranked) to avoid this problem."

His and my idea of a "crunked" car obviously differ.

I didn't have it in me to correct him, so I thanked the kind man and his odd grammar and laughed about it later.  After all, laughter is good for the soul, and Advance Auto Parts hadn't charged me for that on my receipt.

One certainty in life is that laughs are never hard to come by in my family.  A couple of weekends ago we had a lovely family lunch at our house.

What you aren't seeing behind the scenes is the calamity that took place prior to this picture.

• We made three separate trips to the grocery store after forgetting several things
• I dropped my iphone in the toilet (currently there is no app for that).
• I burned my hand on the crock pot

And that was just during an hour and a half span in the morning.  Somewhere Taylor Swift is singing, "I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."

My next clothing purchase will be a full body protective suit.  Imagine the look on the sales clerk's face at Macy's when she asks if I'm "looking for anything in particular."

I've also had the opportunity to take part in many events lately, of which I've enjoyed every minute!

First up was a shower for the Carolina Family Planning Center hosted by a local church in Dillon.  I got to perform my song, "To Call You Mom" and tell the story behind it.

And I was asked to make a speech at a wedding shower for these lovely people:

As I mentioned to those attending, my first thought when asked to speak was, "These hosts do realize that people are coming here for a relaxing and peaceful afternoon, right??"

But as suggested I took it upon myself to give a little of my own 1 year and 10 months worth of marriage advice.  A few highlights:

• Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener.
• Man is incomplete until he's married.  Then he's finished.
• Marriage is when the two become one.  The problem is deciding which one to become.
• Definitions are important.  Example: mine and Ryan's definition of a homemade meal.

$.99 Totino's.  Nothin' wrong with that!

Ryan's idea of a homemade meal, however, involves something that marinated all day with 56 ingredients.

In the eloquent words of Sweet Brown...

• Know how to read your spouse, like that look they get when one of you is about to spend money.

• Do something the wrong way, and you won't be asked to do it again.  Case in point- mopping the floor.  I literally stood in a circle and swirled the mop around me as Ryan looked on in disgust and suggested  demanded that I start at one end of the kitchen and work backwards.  Since he's the expert, I let him do it : D  Problem solved. 

• Lawn care.  Scientists have discovered a few living specimens in our yard.  They're fighting to survive and will hopefully live to see May.  Our prized lawn decor is what can only be known as Crepe MURDER.

Ryan's at it again.

But above all, put HIM first and your spouse second, make time for each other each day, and never go to bed angry.

That evening we had a fish fry at Robin & Danny Moody's.  What torture that I couldn't pig out on it!  But at least these little cuties kept me entertained, or maybe it was the other way around... : ).

This past Saturday I was THRILLED to perform Christian music for an hour during Dillon's Main Street festival.  People I had never met came up to me afterwards and told me the music touched them, and there is no greater reward in this world than to hear that.  This, I believe, is my calling in life.

This week marked a milestone.    I   the baby got its very first gift from none other than my incredible coworker, Jeannie.  It's a car buddy that hooks onto the seat.  I absolutely adore it!

Last night Dorothy and Jamie came over to help address invitations for our high school reunion that may or may not be taking place, depending on how many funds we receive and how much participation we actually get : /.

When Dorothy came in she said she had a special gift for me, and without question this is one of the most special and thoughtful things anyone has ever made for me.  It's a New Mother's Survival Kit packed with many necessary items.

I absolutely ADORE this gift and will keep it forever.  Just when you think Dorothy can't be any more thoughtful she outdoes herself again.  This was such a special treat, and I thought it was the greatest thing since Happy Meals were invented!!!!

After a delicious meal at Red Robin the three of us were hard at work addressing envelopes.

...Or hardly working : P.  I LOVE these two!!!

I'll leave you with an analogy that I heard from a recent speaker about the iPhone/iPad.  Our minds really can't grasp all of which these inventions are capable.  By the touch of a button or simply speaking we can get directions, make calls, and send messages, all while simultaneously using it as a GPS.

Unheard of, right???

But if you never plugged in or charged your iphone/ipad it would be useless.  It would literally die and would not serve its intended purpose.  In the same way if we are not plugged in to our relationship with the Lord we are not being spiritually fed and therefore can't further His kingdom to our fullest potential.  That fact alone is certainly enough motivation for me to seek Him daily in prayer and stick to His word.

Moral of the story: don't be this guy.

If you've been blessed with good health and various abilities, use them to the fullest extent for His glory.

Until next time, my beloved friends,

Hints, Clues, and Breaking the News

In life there are many things on which we have to wait, such as:

1) The Time Warner guy who says he's coming "between the hours of 8:00-5:00."  My foot.

2) Your tax refund

3) The flower in the "Dennis the Menace" movie to finally bloom

 I've been waiting for weeks to write this post.  I hope to exceed your expectations.

At 6:00 am on March 1, 2013, I took a test that would change my life forever.  Fortunately for me this particular test didn't involve reading comprehension, vocabulary words, or math problems (appropriately named).

I turned on some classical music to calm myself while waiting on the results.  Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique was on.  I'll never think of that piece of music the same way again.

Then I read one word that would change my life forever: "pregnant."

ME???  Potentially bringing another one of these in the world???  

But it was true.  And in that instant I wept- happy tears, of course.  I couldn't believe that God had chosen to bless me with the title of "mother."  There was a little, growing being inside of me.

I instantly fell completely in love with what at that moment probably resembled a squished jelly bean.

My mind was completely racing.  How was I going to tell Ryan?  What kind of spectacle was I going to create?  Was there a sky writing service available on short notice?  I racked my brain as I drove to work that morning...with two people present in the car.

Chris Tomlin's "Your Grace is Enough" was the first song I heard on the radio.

"So remember Your people, remember Your children, remember Your promise, oh God. Your grace is enough for me."  Wow.

It kept hitting me like a ton of bricks.  I was going to have a baby- ME!!!  This is the same girl who recently thought the pounds written on the outside of a diaper pack meant how much weight they could hold in, uh, "matter," and had nothing to do with how big the baby was.

"8-10 pounds, huh?  That diaper will be good for a week!"

I'll never live down that momentary brain lapse.

When Ryan came home from work that afternoon I had a cryptic note waiting for him:

Oddly enough, writing like a child didn't take much effort on my part.

In the bag was a special gift, along with some cake pops from Cupcake, because let's be honest...  what's a celebration without cake pops?

Since surprises from Katharine can sometimes be dangerous, Ryan opened the gift very timidly...but beamed when he realized what it was.

I've never seen him so thrilled in my entire life.  "Are you sure???" he asked, and I told him yes and showed him the test.  I was bawling crying (who knows why!) because of the sheer magnitude of the news.  I was a combination of ecstatic and terrified as a MILLION things ran through my head.  

What would I do when the doctor came at me with a needle?

Would I have to kiss my favorite drink EVER goodbye??

What would I look like at the end of the pregnancy???

I was so emotionally out of whack, in fact, that I dropped and cracked a massive bottle of blue gatorade while on our way out the door for Dillon.   To my surprise, Ryan didn't fuss or utter a word.  He went inside, got the mop, and cleaned it up while I sat in the car.  Who was this guy?? : )

We talked about everything on the way home- how we were going to tell our parents, nursery themes, names, EVERYTHING.  We decided to wait and tell our parents until we had the first ultrasound and saw a heartbeat.  The biggest question was: how were we going to keep this a secret until then?

When you find out something like this, your life flashes before you. I seem to be on the same track as these ladies.  In 2011 we were all happily (albeit shortly, in one instance) married, and in 2013 we are all having babies.

**The above picture has been photoshopped for entertainment purposes**

That weekend on the way to Aaron and Maggie's engagement party Ryan threw up motioned what my Dad assumed was some silly sign.  What he actually meant is that there are three people in this picture, and my Dad had no clue.

We had our first ultrasound to see the heartbeat on March 28th, exactly ten years to the day of our senior prom.

The next few weeks a SERIES of unfortunate things happened: I got the flu (yes- the actual flu) for a week and stayed at home in Dillon sick as a dog. My work laptop died, I lost a dear family member, I had a heart scare and had to get checked at the doctor (all was well), my Dad was hospitalized- GEEZ.  Could the hour glass just turn around already?

But on Easter weekend 2013 all worries were out the window, and Ryan & I set out on an adventure for what would be an epic, memorable time: telling our parents and grandparents the incredible news.

My creativity had been in high gear that week.  We had Easter baskets for each set of parents/grandparents filled with candy and three eggs.  

Inside the eggs were a baby that may look like a Ryan or Katharine, and then a picture of the ultrasound.  And that was just part one of the surprise.

Oh yeah, and sweet treats from Tiffany's bakery...

The Friday night before we told our parents was like Christmas Eve.  Neither of us could rest, and while Ryan was trying to sleep I was sifting through drawers and toy boxes in hopes of finding items to assist in carrying out my plans.

"Alright, Katharine, aren't you going a little overboard?  Isn't this too much?"

Honestly, when is the last time I went overboard with an idea???

Forget I asked.

To be completely fair and equitable we drew names out of a hat to see which set of parents we'd tell first.  Fortunately for us, our parents live about a mile away from each other.

We were up-and-at-em on Saturday morning and headed to his parents' house first.

There is a running joke between Ryan's Dad and me with an unopened Lionel train set he has.  Every year at Christmas he says he'll have to give it away since he doesn't have a grandchild.  I decided to use an old Christmas train set that my parents have in their attic and set it up as a hint.  Ryan and I went to his parents' house to "eat breakfast" that morning, and I suspiciously dragged in a black suitcase with the train contents.

His ever inquisitive mother asked us about five times what it was.  Ryan made something up about me working on a project...which totally wasn't a lie.

After breakfast I set up the train set and nervously waited for the right time to bring all of his family into the room parade style and tell them we had an Easter gift.

His Dad wondered why we bought him another train set- his mind saw more clutter in the house.

Kevin looked confused as usual.

His mother instantly knew what was going on..."you're pregnant."

"An educated guess," I replied, as I grabbed a gift from under the bed- a wrapped poem.

They were over the moon, and after they opened the Easter basket that included a baby outfit I informed them that we had also made the cover of some magazines.

Ryan's Dad carried that outfit around as if an infant was already in it.  It was hilarious.

Next up we went back to my parents' house to tell them.  I knew I had to pull out all the stops, and the night before an idea had hit me like a ton of bricks, or more specifically, K'NEX.

These are not your typical blocks.  Jay and I first got a set of these on Christmas morning in 1993, and I never looked back. 

After all, I have an entire room dedicated to them...

So the previous evening during Ryan's unsuccessful sleep I was (very noisily) sifting through boxes of K'NEX trying to find the perfect pieces to create a stroller, crib, and rattle sans instructions.  I was pretty stoked about the mobile on the crib.

While my parents were seated on the couch I unveiled these items from under a sheet, and they guessed them all- with no idea that they pertained to me- except for the rattle on the end.  They thought it was a go-kart - HA!

Still more clueless than Jessica Simpson in geography class, my parents opened up their framed poem next.

When my Mom read the last sentence of that poem her eyes looked like this:

And my Dad's jaw looked like this:

Once they opened the Easter basket and outfit for the "proof in the pudding" (and the magazine covers) they could NOT stop grinning from ear to ear, with a few tears in between of course.

Then we Face-timed Jay in Texas.  I had him guess each of the K'NEX items and then unscramble the word "Uncle."  He got it immediately.

The idea for our announcement literally popped in my head one day, and I had to think carefully about how to carry out this plan.  Sometimes sweet Ryan is hesitant to take part in my hair brained schemes, but during a recent Target trip just to "look around" I somehow managed to get him to take a few photos.  Add in a collage maker, a chalkboard app and font, and the announcement came to life exactly how I had envisioned!

The next day, Easter Sunday, was SUPER special.  What better a way to start the day than with some incredibly dear friends at church.

Right before we took the above photo someone said, "Is this a head shot?"

I said, "YES, just like a Beethoven bustier."

Everyone: "Huh???" 

"You know, those creepy things I used to see at piano lessons."

"Katharine, that's called a BUST, not a bustier...."

Oops.  In hindsight I seriously doubt that Beethoven ever wore something like this.  That'd be a whole other symphony.

We laughed our heads off.

Later that afternoon we went to Granny Earl's house with an Easter basket.  She was so excited she gave us a fist pump!

Ryan's mom's parents and sisters were extremely excited as well.

Next up we told Aaron by giving him a folded up note.  He actually thought it was a joke.

The next day on the way back to Columbia we met at my grandparents' house to give them a cake that read, "Congratulations Great Grandparents."  I told Nanny we were bringing her a belated Birthday dessert.

As I predicted she glossed right over the words and said, "Oh isn't that great.  We're such great grandparents, Jim.  That's just wonderful."

While opening the ultrasound photo they could barely tell what it was, so they began talking amongst themselves.

"Can you see what it is, Jim?"
"It looks like a baby, Wendy."
"Someone's having a baby?  I do believe that's what it looks like."
They both looked up, confused, "Who's having a baby?"
I asked them to read the cake again.

"Oh, my HEAVENS, Jim, GREAT GRANDPARENTS!!!"
"YOU???" pointing to me.
"Yep."

It was SO hilarious.  I love them to DEATH!!!

After exchanging many hugs and stories, I hurried back to my house to prepare food aka go to to the deli and get chicken.  I had invited a couple of friends over for an "intimate" dinner.

Leave it to me to choose APRIL FOOL'S day to invite them over.  I hadn't even looked at the calendar.    When I brought out the pink and blue cookies with candy baby feet on them, neither of them believed me at first.  Then I ruined it by searching the house for 10 minutes looking furiously for the ultrasound photos that were under a seat in my car.  Jamie told me to stop looking for something that didn't exist, but FINALLY I found and showed them the photos, and they were so excited : D

The three of us Face-timed several of our other friends with the news, and they were all shocked and thrilled.  This has been one of the most special times in my life.  I can only imagine what it will be like when the sweet baby arrives.  We have prayed for it so many times already.

This past Sunday was extra special.  At the end of the service our beloved pastor, Dickie Cullum, announced to the congregation that we are expecting our first child.  Everyone's congratulations and well wishes meant the WORLD to me.

That, my friends, is the story of how we broke the news.  Are you exhausted yet?  The baby isn't even here, and I'm bouncing off the walls with excitement...and this is me off of caffeine.  

Thank you to each and every single one of you who have wished us well and prayed for us and our little one.  I love you more than I can express and have been blessed to be able to call you my friends/family members.  Being a mother is going to draw me ever closer to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  This child is from Him, and we are eternally grateful.

Really!!! Keep us in your prayers over the next few months.  They will FLY by for sure, and please be kind and sensitive as I get, ahem, larger.  I don't want to become so self conscious that I start going out in public like this.

Looks like Katharine's been shopping for maternity clothes, again.

Keep your hands and arms inside the car, friends.  2013 is about to take Moody Mania on a wild ride!