"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant." - Jane Sellman
But I'm going to give you my thoughts on why there is no one on earth like a mother, so let's start at the beginning.
God doesn't need us. He wanted us. He created us for His glory and wants us to love Him. And everyone- whether they choose to follow Him or not- was a divine creation of the Father Himself. But wait- because He would return to Heaven for a while He had to form a plan as to who would bear and care for His children while on earth. That's when a mother was born (and a father, too...Trust me; I'll get just as sappy for Father's Day). But work with me here. And on a side note, the ability to have children has nothing to do with being a wonderful mother. There are millions of foster mothers, etc. who are absolutely incredible.
As special as you are to our Heavenly Father, He knew that it would take someone so strong, so loving, and so selfless to care for you. And He would use this person despite their daily feelings of inadequacy. I'm pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say that. This would not be merely a job or duty but a lifestyle.
Everything He created was part of a master plan, and when I think about how carefully he designed the earth, its landscape, the water, etc. to feed and nourish plants and animals...how special and how in depth do you think He went while forming the person to care for those that are His?
He called this creation "Mother."
The role of a mother has come a long way over the years, so let's take a look at what it takes to be one.
The Mom Diaries
1) Abandoning of self
There were days in the beginning when I had to stop and remember when I last washed my hair. We're usually the first ones up in the morning and the last ones to sit down at the dinner table for a meal we most likely shopped for and cooked. Good spouses will help out with this, too, but as we are fully aware in today's world, there are many single parents who are rockstars and do it alone.
2) Organization
HA! Oh, sorry. I'm not judging you if your closet is an avalanche waiting to escape. I'm talking about daily organization of the mind. Do I have to pack a lunch today, or by some miracle is someone in the class having a Birthday with lunch provided? Do my child's socks match? There are days when one of my greatest accomplishments is finding a matching shoe. I'm handing out an A+ to everyone who gets their kids from place to place each day, feeds them, and says "I love you" without any catastrophes happening. I mean it when I say that every day is a miracle in itself.
3) Giving
...And giving. I've come to realize in the last 3.5 years that my ratio of giving versus taking has completely changed. My happy place is when I have a new show on DVR and can eat a meal of my choice in peace. And to think that I used to do that every day in college! Sit back and think about how many times we give each day as mothers and how much was given to us. We give food, warm beds, advice, (Heaven forbid) occasional evil looks, our time, our energy... We are giving machines.
4) Loving
The first love many of us experience and understand is the bond we have with our parents or caregivers while growing up. Then we love and build relationships with our childhood friends. There's the rush of anxiety and feelings at the first middle school dance and when we start dating (and the pint of ice cream- or in my world- case of Cheetos when we experience heartbreak). For those of us who choose to get married we love our spouse and their extended family in a whole new way. And then there is this love.
What they say is true. It's like having your heart walk around outside of your body. It is a whole new level of love that you never knew existed and furthermore, of which many of us never thought we were capable.
5) Following
Many women have an innate gift of being a mother. For others, it comes with more difficulty, but they still give their best each day. Our ability to parent has to have a foundation, and that foundation is the Bible. I'll be the first to admit that it's a struggle to set aside quite, uninterrupted time with the Lord. Sure, I talk to Him frequently, but it's studying and growing and learning that will really equip us. Do you think I'm not already fearing the teenage years? Right now I rest peacefully in the fact that Emerson's biggest issue is usually a lost toy, scratched DVD, or the occasional bed wetting. I know that over the years there will be much harder and deeper issues to face, and while we can't control what happens to us WE CAN CONTROL our actions and the decisions we make. If I truly want to be an influence on her it is NOT "do as I say and not as I do" but stepping up and walking the walk if we truly want to make a lasting impression.
Bottom line: we take on NUMEROUS roles each day. This comic perfectly sums it up.
It's fun to see Moms of different categories, but we all want the same thing (I hope): a loving and nurturing environment for our children. But just as snowflakes and fingerprints are completely different from one to the next, so are people, so are children, and therefore so are Moms and parents. Why do we give each other such a hard time sometimes? A spanking or stern look doesn't work for everyone. Only you know your child and how to be effective, and as for me- I learn something new every day. It's a constant work in progress.
There are Moms who freak out over the number of ingredients and artificial flavors on a box of cereal. As someone who grew up eating Pixi Stix by the handful I can tell you that I'd be a hypocrite to be paranoid about such things. Yes, we need to take care of our bodies, but candy is dandy as long as one has good dental hygiene.
There are Moms who put smiles on when everything is falling apart and feel a sense of accomplishment when they say goodnight to their breathing angels before turning out the light.
Hypothetically speaking, there are Moms who spend hours and months creating the perfect Birthday party or special event for their beloved children.
There are even, unfortunately, not-so-great Moms out there, too. It has to be said. But this is where following Jesus comes in. He doesn't promise that everything will be easy. We are all human, and I guarantee that even the most perfect earthly person will let you down at some point. It's going to happen. This is why we need to put our full trust in someone higher who will never fail us.
Here are some very special recent events:
1) Celebrating my Mom's Birthday
My mother is one of the most wonderful people in my life. She and my Dad broke the mold. I could write forever about how good, God-fearing, loving, and selfless she is. There is only one 'Ann', and she is my mother!
2) Rayleigh's 6th Birthday! It makes me sad to think that one day I'll drop Emerson off at a party and pick her up when it's over. Seeing her joy when she interacts with friends makes my heart mush.
3) Granny Earl's 85th Birthday...she looks great!
4) We had a super special Mother's Day weekend and cookout
At the end of the day Emerson looked me in the eyes and asked me to please, please curl her hair like mine. Mission accomplished! It was one of the sweetest gifts I could have gotten.
We were also super glad to have Ashlyn stay with us that night on her 21st Birthday!
5) MEETING BABY CORA! Jamie and Chris shared that they had a long adoption process. I can't tell you how many nights I've gotten on my knees and prayed that God would give them the desires of their heart. Jamie's sister shared with me that Cora was born on the anniversary of when Nancy (Jamie and Laura's Mom) went to Heaven, and Cora's adoption took place within 24 hours of Jamie and Chris's ninth wedding anniversary. And the same week as Chris's Birthday. You can't tell me that this baby wasn't perfectly created with them in mind, and I am absolutely over the moon for them. When I got a text and picture from Jamie late one evening that they had just brought their baby girl home I burst into tears. She is perfect and perfect for them. God is faithful, and we have to trust His timing. Here is proof of that:
So in summary, here are a few things that earn you Mommy bonus points...
Sure, you can have the puppy dog cake, but only if I can have some, too.
Fill the entire tub until you're a prune? Okay!
Yes, you can help me make the bed, but please unwrap yourself first.
And by all means, help Daddy paint the trim.
Love is brushing all the tangles out of that beautiful hair.
Fine, wear the bunny mask to daycare...
There are NEVER enough kisses for you.
It's hard to imagine it just yet, but Emerson might be a Mom of her own one day. For now, she's testing things out in my shoes.
One night recently Emerson put on a beautiful princess dress that was a gift for her third Birthday (thanks, Abi)! She twirled and danced around in pure joy. Then Ryan the inspector started noticing pink specks all over the house. The dress was doused in glitter!!!
And when Emerson finally sat down I said, "Look at your sparkle feet!"
Being a Mom is so much like this. At the end of the day we are exhausted, but when we take a moment to twirl around and enjoy life's little moments we are reminded that THIS- this is what it's all about. Emerson was so happy about her sparkly feet that when I put her socks on the next morning I didn't even bother to wipe them off first. All day long she knew that she had a special little secret.
Doesn't this make you want to get up and do something? What's YOUR sparkle? Is it your family, a clean house, your favorite show- most importantly- your Savior?
We may miss out on some of the greatest blessings in life if we don't pick up our feet and move.
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