Here is a snapshot of my calendar for the past few weeks:
No joke!!! And it's only going to get crazier, but at least I thrive on that. My third and final week of training in Arizona was awesome, but the ride there was not.
My family and I ate at Longhorn before takeoff, and someone slept in my arms until the precise moment that our food came to the table. Happens every time.
I wasn't exactly looking forward to my long flight. I'm going to invent an airplane with comfortable, spacious seats that are conducive to sleeping. And don't tell me that I can just book first class. I'm not spending $250 extra dollars so that I can recline. I mean, think about it: what if it cost you $250 every time you came home at the end of the day and sat back in your recliner???
Meet Marv, who travels world-wide in this chair in lieu of retirement.
I just don't get it. The seats in your average airplane are so upright, so small, and so downright uncomfortable! But after takeoff you can lean your seat back a whole inch and a half for utmost comfort.
A 91 degree angle?! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!
Sorry, Luxury Spa.
Apparently you experience more turbulence going East to West on a flight than vice versa. Who knew? So the entire 4+ hour flight was like a long fair ride that wouldn't end.
I'll give you all my tickets; just get me off of this thing!!!
But that was only the half of it. I was seated smack in the middle of two girls who I learned were coworkers and decided to share intensely personal stories after their fourth drinks. Never a good idea.
So while I'm turning green and shifting in my seat so as not to projectile vomit I am hearing -in chronicled detail- the one night stands this girl had with random men.
You know what I know about one night stands???
This is one nightstand.
So our lesson for the day is that night stands should be furniture only; nothing else. SHEESH! Then there was a woman who appeared to be 18 months pregnant (no, that's not a typo), and about two hours into the flight (who let her fly anyway?!) she was walking up and down the aisles moaning and rubbing her stomach.
Jesus, have mercy on my soul. I was two seconds away from losing my lunch, I had horrible visuals from the "nightstand" stories I was hearing, and there was NO WAY that I could watch a live birth on that plane.
Is there an epidural in the house???
After three eternities we landed in Phoenix, and while I was still seated and waiting to get off a woman walked by, glanced at me and said, "Looks like we all had a rough flight, huh?"
Whatever gave me away, lady? Was it my tousled hair? Green cheeks? Weary eyes? Thanks for nothing.
Flight related trauma aside, the last week with my eleven other classmates was so much fun. One day our trainer, James (who is SUPER amazingly awesome, by the way) was playing Pandora when "Hakuna Matata" came on. We all started singing, and he said, "Oh my goodness; you guys have got to make a class song."
Hmm....change lyrics to a song and make a parody? I think I can handle this.
Here is our training video (with a million inside jokes) to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin."
Have I mentioned that I LOVE these people?!? And PS...that's a "Lopes up" sign for the Antelopes, our mascot.
My flight home was on March 21st. Ryan and Emerson had lots of bonding time while I was gone. Ryan is so wonderful with her.
But even the best Dads make mistakes sometimes. As I was sitting in the airport in Charlotte waiting for my delayed flight Ryan group texted his parents (Glenn, Debra) and me a picture of Emerson. She was sitting on the couch eating Cheetos waiting for me to come home.
And here's how the rest of that group conversation went down:
Me: Absolutely love her. Can't wait to get back to you two.
WOAH, what happened to her bangs?
Glenn: Did you cut her hair?
Ryan: Let's just say I attempted to trim them
Me: OMG
Ryan: Maybe barber school is out of the question. Plus she wouldn't be still in the tub.
Glenn: I have plenty of ball caps
Ryan: (sad face)
Debra: Always cut eyebrow length
Ryan (sends another pic): It doesn't look bad from this angle
Debra: We'll call her shortcake now
Me: Oh, well. It's hair, and it will grow back. Gotta get that baby girl a hat for Easter!
Shortcake, indeed. It was so hilarious that not one ounce of me was even angry about it. He only cut the front, so it wasn't her first "real" haircut. I burst out laughing when I saw her in person when Ryan came to pick me up.
Ryan said, "She looks like Lloyd Christmas."
"Who on earth is Lloyd Christmas?" I asked.
Apparently it's Jim Carrey's character in Dumb & Dumber. This called for a side by side comparison.
He may have taken off way too much of her bangs, but the laughs we had added years to our lives. When I got home I had tons of boxes waiting on me for my home office. Isn't Emerson the cutest little assistant?
My first official Monday was an admin day. It was also the day that Emerson's tube procedure was scheduled. 6:00 am came way too early.
The staff was absolutely wonderful and kept her comfortable and entertained before the procedure. Then Dr. Frank Hill, the surgeon, met with us for a few instructions. Just before I handed her over he took her by the hand and asked, "Can I pray for her?"
ABSOLUTELY!!!
What an incredible man. That really, really touched my heart. In a world where mentioning Jesus's name is becoming "taboo," Dr. Hill prayed TO HIM in the workplace. I was astounded. And the procedure went flawlessly and took all of eight minutes.
My manager accompanied me for my first week on the job. He is awesome, and our week included lots of learning and laughs. That Friday I picked up Emerson on the way home from an event. Little did I know that my usual 1.5 hour trip home would take almost three hours because of the HORRIBLE traffic on I-95, and on top of that it was raining cats and dogs.
I ended up pulling over at Shuler's BBQ for a conference call and to let Emerson out of her seat. I had a tray full of bagels in the car from our event, so she enjoyed reading her princess book and eating a bagel while I was on my call.
Then when I finally thought I'd be able to leave, my car wouldn't crank, because we had been sitting there for about 45 minutes with the battery on. That's when Gavin came to our rescue in the Shuler's van.
My parents and several others had been decorating at the church that afternoon for Steven Clark and Ashley's reception the following day. When we finally made it home my Mom said that the group had asked if we wanted to go to Shuler's for dinner, so BACK WE WENT! And Emerson got to meet and play with plenty of friends.
Congratulations to this great couple!
The next Friday was my first work holiday, Good Friday. I had a hair appointment scheduled, and about ten minutes from arriving an idea hit me: I should cut my hair. It was getting so long and so much to handle. I needed a change. I hadn't had a real, true haircut since college. I seriously considered a Taylor Swift "bob," but that was just too drastic at once, and fortunately my stylist Amber reminded me that we can always cut more later, but we can't add. Touche, Amber, Touche.
This was the finished product. It was about 5 inches shorter, and she cut layers at the bottom, which I love. I suppose I was inspired by Emerson's cut, but for some unforeseen reason I didn't ask Ryan to do the chopping.
I was so excited about Easter coming! Every occasion you can share with your family is special. Fortunately Emerson LOVES characters and was quite fond of both of the Easter bunnies she met.
The day before Easter we were at my parents' house and I told asked my Dad if he would dress up as a bunny and take some pictures with Emerson. He said yes, of course. I think you can file that under #thingsyoudoforyourgrandkids.
But my idea wasn't without a few mishaps. Little did I know that my parents' yard was being landscaped that day, and the workmen were there for almost 10 hours. I then decided that we could go to the church instead. What could go wrong there?
When we parked Emerson promptly used the bathroom, and you know what I mean. So after a quick change while holding my nose my Dad emerged from the church with the bunny suit on backwards.
"No, Daddy, the cotton ball butt goes in the back!"
"Ahh, GEEZ, Katharine!!!" So he retreated to fix his error.
In hindsight that was actually pretty hilarious.
So then we walk out on the grounds: Daddy carrying his shoes dressed as a rabbit, me balancing my camera and other miscellaneous belongings, and Emerson running around barefoot with no promise of being still whatsoever.
A few cars slowed down and stared at us during this episode. I went to take the first shot when I realized that I had left my memory card at home. I was going to run home and get it when Emerson fell on the sidewalk and scraped her knee. She's screaming, and my Dad picks her up and is yelling, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED! I WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE! GOSH! THIS IS AWFUL! I FEEL SO TERRIBLE! THIS IS SUCH A HASSLE!'
All this while he was wearing a smiling bunny face. I was dying inside.
Then I called my Mom to bring me the memory card, because I didn't want to leave them there alone. I thought I could take Emerson to play on the kids' playset outside while we waited, but that place was more guarded and locked than your average fort. Kudos to FBC for the security. I finally made it out there through a door inside the building and pushed Emerson in the swing TWO times before my Mom arrived.
"Alright, let's do this."
I started clicking away, and Emerson began running around. My Dad -who, again, appeared to be all smiles in the costume- was complaining about how weary he was. "Come ON, Emerson! Just smile ONCE for Poppy, eh?!?? So we can leave?!? Gee WIZ!"
We all know how flustered and frazzled my Dad can get at the drop of a hat (or in this case, set of ears). Let's just say that if he were working as a mall bunny he'd probably be fired for unhappy behavior. But we got the pictures! And that's what counts. Too bad for him that it was an unpaid job.
We also had fun at Bekah's 3rd Birthday that afternoon. It was a Frozen theme, and Emerson enjoyed running around and playing with all of her friends. How adorable are these kids? I once turned my back for a split second, and she was running upstairs. That little weasel. Just. like. me.
On Easter morning I sang, "Rising Sun" by All Sons & Daughters for the sunrise service. They are one of my absolute favorite groups, and I just happened to have this particular CD in my car recently. I wasn't sure what song I was going to choose, but when that one came on my mind was made up. How appropriate!
I don't know if I've ever attended a sunrise service. When I was younger and my parents would mention it I probably said something like, "The Lord will love me just as much if I go to the 11:00 am service versus the 6:45 one. Plus I'll be much more in the spirit."
But our sunrise service was awesome. What an incredible way to welcome Easter morning. And our deacons cooked an absolutely delicious breakfast for everyone.
Later the whole family enjoyed Easter Sunday along with a shoeless Emerson.
She has an absolute fit when I try to put on her sandals. This is not a battle I'm willing to fight yet, so no shoes it was. When she gets old enough to be refused service at a convenient store for her bare feet, then we may have a discussion. Until then, whatever works.
We had a fantastic Easter egg hunt at the Coleman's after lunch! Although, Emerson preferred playing with Noah's Nerf sword instead of egg hunting.
I was so pleased with how her Easter pictures turned out. I took them in my parents' living room. Wacky bangs aside, I adore her in these pictures. I've got to search through my baby photos and prove to everyone once and for all that she is my twin, mannerisms included.
This past week I had been coughing up a storm but went to two work events in Greenville anyway. It was fun, because I got to stay with Joy and see Do You Believe which was SO, SO incredibly good. The story line of how twelve souls were tied together is just miraculous and nothing short of a God- THE God- with a master plan. You absolutely HAVE to see it. Tell them Katharine sent you. It won't get you a discount but will be a nice gesture.
On Wednesday afternoon it was impossible for me to get back home in time to see a doctor, so I asked Joy's sister, Heather, for some recommendations. She suggested Med 360.
This place was AMAZING! My bottom didn't even get warm in the seat in the waiting room before they called me back. Now, I would like to make a formal complaint about their scale, but we'll save that for another day. My "vitals" were taken, and I say that in quotes because they were not up to par. My blood pressure was high from so much coughing and wheezing, and I could barely breathe. The doctor said, "You are definitely very sick and needed to be seen today." I found out that I had bronchitis and pneumonia. There's your sign! So I'm on antibiotics, steroids, and, cough syrup for ten days. The good thing is that when my bones start jello-ing over from the cough syrup, I can pop a steroid, and then I'm dancing around with energy like that skeleton from your high school biology class.
So Thursday was my first official sick day from work, and I sounded - and looked- like an absolute fright. Finally at around noon I was starving and mustered up enough strength to throw on my JV Martin Junior High Washington trip shirt, a pair of baggy shorts, and mismatched flip flops. All I wanted were mashed potatoes and broccoli from Longhorn, so I ordered it and got in the car.
"I wish they had curbside takeaway like Outback, and I didn't have to go inside." I thought.
"Oh, well, this isn't Dillon. Certainly I'm not going to see anyone I know."
So I ambled inside upon arrival as if I'd escaped from the hospital and headed to the bar area where to-go orders are.
"KAT, KAT!!!" I heard. Oh, God, please no. Who was it? And I turned around.
My entire former office was seated at two tables. My old boss, all my coworkers, and other office staff.
"Gracious, poor Katharine! I wonder if anyone else was hurt in the accident!"
I of course walked over and talked to all of them, and they were glad to see me. I should probably be offended that they recognized me, quite frankly, although I had talked with Jeannie 30 minutes on the phone the night before, so I guess I was on the brain. Love her! When in doubt, attempt to look decent, even if you're picking up a to-go order. When is curbside takeaway a luxury? When you look like you've been sideswiped by a vehicle. I'm getting Outback next time!
As supplies for my home office continue to pile up, we also receive packages every day. This means one thing: bubble wrap.
Emerson had an absolute play fit with this stuff. POP POP POP POP!!!!! I mean really, a trip to Disney World, or a box full of bubble wrap? One of these is certainly a cheaper option. Of course the fun only lasts for a few minutes.
And now Sarah McLachlan is singing, "Silent Night."
Why? Because all the bubbles are popped. It is truly a somber moment.
Keep popping, friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment