Moody Mania: Mountain Tops & Party Shops

In today’s world we love euphemisms and convenience…and in some cases, a combination of both.

Don’t you love the “pardon our progress” signs when you’re trying to shop amid a construction area with piles of wood and sheet metal? Really? I’m supposed to appreciate that?

“Oh, pardon my progress, Ryan. I’m just cleaning out the closet. That’s not really a mess.”

Suuuuureeeee; that would really get me off the hook. I really don't mean to upset my loved ones, but somehow it comes naturally more often than not.

I’m going to give you three guesses as to why Emerson is devastated here…

1: Did Spongebob drown in his Pineapple under the sea?

2: Did Bi-Lo run out of milk?

3: Did the Disney channel announce its cancellation?

Actually, the answer is D; none of the above.

This is the reaction I get each morning when dropping off Emerson at daycare.

So I have added in about ten minutes to each morning commute for what I call “cuddle time” with Emerson so that her teacher can distract her while I leave. And the funny thing is that while she’s falling out from an apparent voice of the Holy Spirit her classmates are sitting around, like…

This could present a few issues if it continues to middle school, but for now I’m just going to go with it.

This also means that on days when the sun rises you can pretty much bet your brain that I’m going to be late to work. I am in more of a hurry than the Dad who’s trying to get the last toy for his kid on Christmas Eve. As a result I usually bring unnecessary difficulty on myself, like the other day when I pushed THREE elevator buttons in my fury and had to make two extra stops.

NO TIME!!!

And then there was the antibiotic from the gates of Hades. Emerson got a staph infection a couple of weeks ago, and she was put on a medicine that the doctor warned me would taste “unpleasant.” Perhaps what the patients should be told is that it smells and tastes like five year old gym socks that have been marinating in the elephant exhibit. HORRIBLE. Here are a few every-day tasks that are easier than giving Emerson the appropriate dosage:

1: Getting this cat to make friends

2: Pushing this hippopotamus in a Radio Flyer wagon in a hilly neighborhood

3: Using this car on a cross country trip

Did I mention that she had to have it THREE times a day? That was the longest ten days of my life, but fortunately she is much better now…

We have had enough sickness lately. As Ryan pointed out, the Providence and Baptist hospitals are about to name a wing after us after what we've paid them.

On Saturday, October 11^th we celebrated Ryan and his Mom’s Birthdays with a cookout. It was delicious!

And to continue the gluttony Joy talked me into Shuler’s all-you-can-eat buffet that night. There was, however, a main item missing from the buffet line; a basin full of one size fits all elastic pants.

This past weekend was one that I had been anticipating for a while. Caroline and Robert's wedding was finally here! This couple is as talented and smart as they are Godly. It would also be the first time we’d get to see Jay since JUNE!

You may remember this video compilation of Caroline and me singing back on New Year’s Eve of 2012. Caroline is a phenomenal girl, and I think the world of her and her Mom. I was ecstatic to be there for her wedding.

Late Saturday afternoon Caroline and Robert got married at the top of a mountain in a chapel called “Pretty Place.”

I missed the mountain memo and woke up, startled, in the back of my parent’s van like a freshly shaken can of paint at Home Depot.

No street names are necessary on that mountain; they simply need a sign at the bottom: “Now entering the “Tilt-a-Whirl.” Where was the Dramamine when I needed it?

As soon as I saw the chapel and views it was breathtaking, and in a world where the closest thing I see to a famous painting is usually smashed sweet potatoes on the counter, I could really appreciate such scenic views. How do people not believe in Jesus? If all the evil in the world “proves” that there is no God, then wouldn’t all the good and beautiful things prove otherwise?” Every timeline of events, such as the separation of the sea from the land, the creation of the atmosphere so that animals like birds could sustain, the order in which everything was created, the intricacies of the human body and how it breathes for us while we’re asleep and has the capacity to heal…every single detail is evidence of a perfectly wonderful Creator.

This same Creator is responsible for seasonal changes. I thought my Mother was crazy for wearing warm clothes. That was until we actually got there, and I felt the breeze. The beautiful views, however, almost made me forget the feeling that I was camping out in my refrigerator next to a fan.

The ceremony was so heartfelt, and I loved the congregational hymns. There was one point by the preacher that particularly stuck with me; your marriage should paint a picture of God's love. Do others see that? It is certainly something to strive for daily. Caroline and Robert are two AWESOME people, and I couldn't be happier for them. We also got to see Karen and James's new house on the way as an added bonus!

Where do I begin with the hilarious memories spent with Caroline and the gang? We have had so many game nights, Rock Band marathons, Del Sol trips, and parties where we've laughed until we've cried and fallen out of chairs. I absolutely adore this group of friends.

After the ceremony it was time for my Mom, Dad, and I to board the Tilt-a-Whirl again, this time in the opposite direction, as we headed to the reception in downtown Greenville. We made a few U-turns to find a parking garage and then meandered our way through the streets by foot, looking for the "Shirley Roe Cabaret Room." The three of us looked as coordinated as three awkward seagulls flying in the opposite direction of a hundred migrating birds.

SQUAWK!!! Do YOU know where the reception is??

We passed the Peace Center, where a large bus filled with elderly folks were arriving from out of town for an event. My Dad walked up to the first gentleman hobbling off and asked him if he knew where the Cabaret Room was. After semi adjusting his hearing aid he said, "No."

Really, Daddy? There were police officers everywhere (and maps) and you decided it was a good idea to ask a bus full of elderly people from out of state?

Now there's a guy who looks like he knows a thing or two. We should totally ask him for directions.

We were so glad when we found the reception! We were also STOKED to see and visit with Jay!

I had a feeling that Jay was "in" on something special that evening, but he gave no hints whatever and said that he wasn't at liberty to discuss. Jay is a man of his word.

You see, Caroline's father gained victory in Heaven in November of 2010. Sickness may have claimed his body, but not his soul. Once Caroline and Robert had their first dance, and Robert and his mother danced, Caroline's Mom chose several of her best guy friends- Jay included- to do a surprise shag to - what else could be more appropriate? - "Sweet CAROLINE!!!" About eight guys danced and cut in with her at different times. What an unbelievable way to make everyone in the room smile for such an unforgettable moment. I'd give it a 10 out of 10.

And if you haven't seen Jay take a dance floor, you seriously need to put it on your bucket list. It's unbelievable. He is like a wet noodle in hot grease.

I was so excited to see everyone last weekend, catch up, and talk about the latest happenings. On that note...only FOUR days remain until the celebration of the century.

Emerson's Birthday party headquarters

That's right, this Saturday is the BIG day. How is it here already? I've paraded though every craft and party supply store within a 150 mile radius, Pinterest is getting ready to suspend my account for excessive and suspicious activity, and you will soon hear of a nation wide glitter shortage on Good Morning America.

Ok, ok, so one of my last projects included gluing a ton of glitter on some poster board. I used larger pieces of glitter for an effect. HA! It had an effect, alright.

Whoever said "nothing is impossible" has clearly never tried to clean up spilled glitter. I grabbed the vacuum cleaner and focused on removing all evidence from Ryan, who would later come home like Meryl Streep, looking for any unnecessary mess.

"Places, everyone!"

But the volume of glitter that was on the floor and the way in which it fell in every nook and cranny made it more difficult to clean up than finding your car in the world's largest parking garage.

Every time I would vacuum over a place of glitter, specks would shoot out the back of my Oreck, making a trail of pixie dust literally EVERYWHERE I went. There were shiny specks in my plants, on surfaces, up the stairs, in the shower. There was no hiding it; I was a prime suspect in the disappearance of Tinkerbell.

I got on my hands and knees for what seemed like an eternity, picking up every PIECE I could find by hand. Ryan wasn't home for twenty seconds before he said, "What's up with all this glitter?"

I couldn't hide a paper clip from him in a hoarder's house. He notices EVERYTHING.

We now have a no glitter policy in our home. Next time our deck will just look like it got the treatment.

Crafts. BAH!!!! Completely useless, in my opinion.