Meet, Greet, & Extra Wide Feet

Every person in the world can use the advice I'm about to give.  I have discovered a trick that adds time to your day.  Do I have your attention yet?

Are you sick of red traffic lights?  I know how to make every light you encounter a green one.  It's simple, really.

Have a need to stop.

Is a strap messed up on your shoe, and you need a moment- five seconds even- to fix it?  Green light.

Need to slow down to find what street you're on? Green light.

Did your screaming child drop a bottle or toy in the back seat, and you put the car in park to spin around and look for it?  GREEN MEANS GO!  And someone honking behind you.

It's true; as long as you need to stop, I can assure you without fail that every light will be green.

"But sometimes I don't WANT to "Go Green!!!"

Speaking of lights, here is a 10,000 foot view of...

Well, can you guess?

This sea of dots could be mistaken for an x ray of jelly beans, or thousands of fans at a football stadium.  But in fact it is the social calendar of my ten month old.

I'm grateful to have the honor of overseeing her schedule.

We have had MANY fun things going on lately.  Here's a little glimpse.

One afternoon a few weeks ago I was singing Taylor Swift's latest epic and incredibly catchy hit- "Shake it Off- to myself…and I just happened to say, "Shake it Off…Like a Mom."

And then something magical happened that never took place in my school math classes; I got an IDEA!

Hey, why don't I remake a piano version of the song from the point of view of a parent? Add in some real-life video clips, text, and transitioning, and… well, click this YouTube link to check it out if you haven't already!

Shake it Off…Like a Mom

Truthfully I had an absolute blast creating this parody and was thrilled that so many people loved it and could relate.  I even sent it to Parenting Magazine's Facebook page, and they responded!  Pretty cool.  But at the end of the day I still change dirty diapers and walk around with smashed peas on my clothes. And that's a sweet and humbling calling.

Should you wish to contact me for a booking you can do so through my agent.  She has a little drinking problem, but she is usually on top of things, like my ottoman.

Saturday, September 6th will go down as one of the most jam packed days in history.  We began our morning by meeting PRECIOUS, tiny newborn Charlotte.

While on the way to Meagan's (amid the screams coming from the back seat) it dawned on me that after decades of visiting her in the country it was the first time that we would introduce our baby girls to each other.  Talk about special!

Noah was quite the gentleman as he entertained Emerson, and when she got upset about something (she is a Moody, after all), he would rub her arm and say, "It's okay, baby. Don't cry!"

Fast forward to Noah's career in 20 years:  "Now tell me, how do you feel about that?"

Then it was time for Gabe's first Birthday party! If the first year flies by this quickly, I can only imagine the rest of them.  It was SO awesome to visit with Kate, Nardin, Megan, and everyone else at the party.  And Kate & Walt's new house is BEAUTIFUL!

Infant etiquette says that you are allowed to chew the gift packages given to the birthday boy.

Can you imagine the audacity of doing that at a wedding shower?

"Nice china pattern, Miss Davis.  I'm just testing the quality."

It's also totally okay to take the birthday boy's balloons.

Oh, AND take off your pants.  It was much hotter outside than we anticipated, so I made an executive decision to nix the black pants mid party.  I call it "Donald Ducking." Surprisingly, Emerson would still receive service at your local gas station.

Whoever created this rule obviously decided that shoes and shirts are a MUST, but pants?  Eh, they're not a necessity.

If some old creep walks in a gas station with no pants on but demands service, I somehow guarantee that situation would not go very smoothly.

Next up: Audrey's "Sweet Treats" party!

What cracks me up is that these two little girls are fourteen months apart but almost the same weight!

I love Joy & Dorothy so much, and we had a blast together celebrating Audrey turning two.  She was also kind enough to let Emerson play with the boxes as we opened all of her toys, all the while keeping a suspicious eye out, because... "Emmy take it!  Emmy take it!!!"

The next day was the annual dinner at church, and fortunately this year it was moved to the fellowship hall to avoid the melting of both ice cream and people.

From the looks of these photos, the girls are taking over First Baptist.

Recreating the world's most famous selfie:

Sweet Dada decided to give Emerson a cupcake after our meal.  She was unsure about it at first, but boy was she sad when it was gone.

I feel the same way when I finish a box of Krispy Kremes.

Well, I can't imagine why the kiddie strap doesn't fit around my belly!

Eating is one of life's most enjoyable aspects.  Am I right?  We frequently visit Outback, so much that I know all of the names of the to-go staff.  

While Ryan and I enjoy the food, Emerson enjoys the atmosphere.  There is SO MUCH going on in there, especially when they seat you and your infant right next to the kitchen.

Here is last Friday's Outback experience in numbers:

1 minute = how quickly we devoured our bread

3 = the number of coasters she ruined

5 = how many times I had to re-situate her in the high chair

18 = number of people/wait staff who spoke to her, smiled, or waved

42 = how many times Emerson dropped something under the table

42 = how many times she looked for said item, expecting me to pick it up

1,942 = the number of times she kicked her high chair with her shoes

1 = the time she went CRAZY when the "Whip It" song came on

I will always cherish the times that I can sit with her like this at a restaurant

In fact, I'll probably still want to sit like that at her 16th Birthday, which I imagine would garner strange stares from our surrounding tables.

Speaking of Birthdays, Uncle "Calvin" came last weekend for the USC game, and we celebrated his Birthday!  Ryan had a grand idea of getting a several layer cake, and instead of attempting it (I have enough evening frustrations on a daily basis) I decided to order one from a local bakery.  

I can only gather that the cake had been frozen before, which is my only feasible explanation for why it was more dry than these rolls that were brought to Mary as a housewarming gift following the birth of Jesus.

Oh, well.  It was the thought that counts.  I can think of worse things on which to waste $35…like this lawn ornament.

It's a wild guess, but I'm willing to bet that the inside of his nose is more moist than that cake.

Wasting money is not ideal, which is why you have to JUMP at the chance to do free things.

Like…a Frozen meet & greet!

I heard through the grapevine that the Disney princesses were coming to a local toy store last Saturday.  Does Emerson even know what Frozen is?  Not exactly, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

It was just a little bit hot outside that day, but we arrived forty minutes early, and there were at least 100 people already in line.

I was humbled as the line to meet the Frozen girls Emerson kept growing and growing.  What a star at only 10 1/2 months old!

Anna and Elsa braved the heat and waited a long time, but their day was finally complete when they were introduced to Disney's youngest princess. 

After all, the life of a princess has its perks.  Sometimes it is totally acceptable to watch Spongebob in your ruffle dress after a long day at daycare.

Or guzzle milk on the cookie aisle in Bi-Lo.

And sleep like an angel.  Will you look at that head of hair?  She practically has a pixie cut!  

Another point of contention has been finding shoes that will FIT her!

Helpful Stride Rite staff 

After much searching, her Grandma Debra finally took her to be formally fitted, and she must have an "EXTRA WIDE" shoe.  Not even wide will cut it, but at least now we know our options.  And she's pretty happy about her new kicks.

Last Sunday afternoon we enjoyed a lovely stroll with Joy around the neighborhood, followed by a lakeside selfie.

And I leave with some BREAKING NEWS!  Providence Hospital won the Publisher's Clearing Moody House prize!!!  That's right, we owe them a fortune after my recent operation and ER trips.  

But as I always say, hospitals are the best about ensuring repeat customers.  You may start with a broken arm, sinus trouble, or a troubled gallbladder, but upon receiving your bills you are initiated into the cardiac ward or ICU = intensive cost unit.

I HEART YOU!