With my love for experimentation and making messes I find myself wishing I had invented formula, AKA powdered gold.
It is the first time in my life that I've actually done flips when receiving coupons in the mail.
YES!!! Katharine checks the mailbox again.
But when it comes to eating we all know this simple, scientific rule: what goes in must come out.
Fireworks, blasts, explosions....these are all ways in which we celebrate the start of a new year. Emerson has been on earth slightly over two months, and yet she took this tradition very seriously. Let me tell you about the moment that will be recorded in future history books known as the Outback Blowout.
"Four score and seven poops ago..."
On New Year's Eve we took our first trip to a restaurant as a family of three. Emmy was quite the fashionista in her new outfit and vest. Little did those clothes know that their newness- and fresh aroma- would be short lived.
She was the perfect little lady at our table.
What do you mean I can't have any cheese fries???
I guess just looking at that food can wreak havoc on one's intestines, because just five minutes after taking this picture both Ryan and I locked eyes as we heard- and smelled- the explosion.
Code POOP at table 12.
I froze in a panic. I didn't know what to do! Was I supposed to actually take her to the "koala" changing station on the wall in the restaurant bathroom and force the other innocent occupants to hear the following in the next stall?
"WOAH that's a lot of excrement!"
"I hope their interior decorator is fond of brown spots..."
"Emmy, move your foot. Wait, NO. Not there!"
"World War Pee!"
"Lord, SEND ME A HOSE!"
Does anyone actually change their children in those things? Talk about being scarred for life. Being in the completely unchartered territory that I was I decided to take her to the only private place possible: my car.
This feature was NOT listed in my manual...
Ryan stifled a laugh as I lugged Emmy out to the car as if I were carrying a biohazard bag. What followed was a fifteen minute episode of flying pants, diapers, freezing cold wipes, zip loc bags, and sanity, all the while making every attempt possible not to make a scene in the parking lot. I can only imagine how this incident unfolded to viewers from inside the restaurant...
"Mommy, look! There's a lady with a naked baby outside throwing clothes around!"
"There you go with those wild stories again... Turn around and eat your -"
"No, really! I promise this time!"
"You're GROUNDED."
To the kid that likely received punishment for making this announcement at the table: I am sorry.
It dawned on me the other day that dressing Emmy is exactly like the Hokey Pokey.
"You put your hand in, you take your foot out, you put your arm in, and you shake it all about..."
I have therefore resorted to fast, impromptu movements to get the job done. The quicker the better.
"That's what it's all about!"
I must say that compared to my motherly knowledge when Emerson was first born I have become quite the pro at certain things, like getting her to be quiet when she's fighting sleep.
The hair dryer, dryer in the laundry room, and bathroom exhaust fans have been a LIFE SAVER. They work almost every single time and make me feel like a hero.
However, I still have my moments when I'm more overwhelmed than the time I went out on the beach with a box of Cheez-its...
MINE! MINE! MINE! ZOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
But new year's blowouts aside, we did have a fabulous first celebration with our little girl.
Auld Lang Tide.
Today begins my last week of maternity leave before returning to...I don't even want to say it. Let's just say that it rhymes with "twerk" and is equally as ridiculous.
Things that are less sad than my maternity leave ending:
1) The final Titanic scene with Jack & Rose
I'll never let go!
2) Mufasa's death
3) The amount of money my family spent on Beanie Babies thinking their value would send Emerson to college one day
Over and over again I've been told, "Oh, millions of Moms go back to work. You're not alone," but that's not necessarily a comfort.
If I and a million other people got kicked in the shin it wouldn't make my injury hurt any less.
At LEAST the Lord has proven, yet again, His faithfulness to us in finding a safe and wonderful place for Emerson to go to the nursery. My stomach was in absolute knots about it, and my initial search proved to be less successful than trying to find a babysitter for that kid in Problem Child.
I called EVERYWHERE, and no place had an open spot. What was I supposed to do? Pay for a spot on the waiting list on MY first Birthday?
Well, that's a strange gift, but thanks anyway.
Map of US daycares with no vacancies.
This was turning into a modern day search for a room. Does the story of Jesus's birth ring a bell? But the Lord had our best interests at heart. After touring several places that were just not what I had in mind, last week- slightly over two weeks before my "staycation" was ending- we found a wonderful, impressive, Christ centered place for Emerson to go- if only there was a vacancy. From the beginning the director and staff were phenomenal, the interaction with the children was heart warming, the curriculum (for infants- ha!) was impressive, and to top it off I met another young couple who is expecting a little girl named "Ella" in a few weeks, were high school sweethearts (sound familiar?), and who drove the same car as I do. Crazy, right?
During our visit one of the staff came over to us in the hallway- completely unsolicited- and said that they look forward to coming to the center each day, love these children like they are their own, and that she hoped we would choose them. "Hoped we'd choose them??" More like ME begging at their feet for an opening!
The facility tour ended, and I was just getting my checkbook out and asking the director how much I owed for the waiting list when I almost fell out of my chair at her response. Certainly I must be hearing her incorrectly.
"One of our infants is transferring, and we will have a spot open for you next week- no waiting list necessary."
In that instant I was more surprised than this monkey who, by the looks of it, received an unexpected enema at the zoo.
I suppose after all my years of misfortune in grocery lines, traffic jams, and DMV debacles I was due for a blessing, but I told the director that surely I would be struck by lightning or hit by a bus later that afternoon, because there was NO WAY I was having such luck.
But this was not random luck; it was the hand of Jesus. Before we set out that day my Mom prayed out loud that He would lead us to a safe and wonderful environment for Emmy, because we didn't know where to go or what to do. I now find it hilarious that we missed the initial turn into this place. Who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor?
So as I soak up the last week of happiness between the hours of 8:00 and 5:00 I reflect upon all things Emerson.
Like the time she fell asleep sitting up.
Or the morning she threatened to punch me in the nose because I didn't have her bottle ready fast enough.
How absolutely adorable she looks while bundled up on a cold day.
The speed and distance with which her bladder works.
Her impeccable sense of fashion.
Her smiles that are straight from Heaven.
How much she adores her uncles.
And her Daddy, too.
The sleepy smirks I get while she sleeps on my chest.
And, most of all, the fact that she is an absolute angel.
As we enter a new year I wonder what is going to take place in the next twelve months- both personally and professionally. What things will our family do? To what places will we go, and what will we learn? Everything we do gives us more experience, which brings me to this thought: people are obsessed with saying they have no regrets. And I wonder...why is that?
The truth is, I have regrets every day. I regret that I chose the one line in the bank that took the longest, I regret getting fries with that burger (although GOOD LAWD were they tasty), and more seriously, I regret anything I did on a given day that was displeasing to Him- whether it was neglecting to read my Bible or speaking angrily to a family member, for example. I think mistakes and regrets are there so that we can learn from them. And quite honestly, I don't think anyone has zero regrets. That's simply impossible.
Ringing in a new year can be such an exciting occasion, but for many, it can also be a sad time. Saying goodbye to a year that took one of your loved ones can be extremely difficult. Several families have been in my thoughts and prayers as we entered 2014, and now each night one of my prayers is this: that He would continue to bless my family and loved ones with not only health, safety, and basic needs but with each other.
I'll definitely need your prayers as I head back to my (aptly named) job next week and miss every waking moment with my baby girl. I have tried to rationalize by telling myself that eventually she would have to go to school anyway, but on that fateful morning my shattered heart will look as if someone sprinkled glitter all over a football field.
X-Ray results for Moody, Katharine
But just before I could have a meltdown a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I have often said that out of all the people in the world God chose us to be Emmy's parents. Careful thought by our Creator was given regarding her place. Wouldn't the same consideration be taken for the workers in her nursery? Didn't He also know the entire time who these ladies would be, and just as our hearts were prepared to be parents wouldn't he provide the knowledge and love to abide in them as they care for our little blessing each day? Although being without her during the day will still be heartbreaking, that realization alone made me feel much better.
For now I will focus on the (almost) 11 weeks that the Lord has given us with our little girl, and by his grace, there will be MANY more. Because the truth is, I realize that I have so much to look forward to: her first crawl, walk, words, hearing her say "I love you," her first trip to the zoo (minus the enema induced monkey), vacations, you name it.
And that, my friends, will make my days- especially work days- worth it.
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