Veggies & Wedgies

Some events call for massive celebrations.  Like...

1) The first man to land on the moon.

2) The royal wedding of 2011.

Oops.  I meant this one.

3) A team winning the Super Bowl.

And....

EMERSON SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! CONSISTENTLY!!!

That calls for a big ole HALLELUJER!!!!

Maybe now that I'm able to get a full night's rest on many evenings I'll be able to resume normal, everyday tasks such as actually washing my hair, making sure I have on two of the same shoes, and (gasp!) applying makeup before leaving the house each day. 

I imagine most women sitting in front of a beautiful vanity station each day as they apply their "face."  Want to know what my makeup station consists of?  The inside door handle of my car.

I concentrate on the essentials if I don't want to frighten anyone: foundation, lipstick, and eyeliner.  Blush and mascara are reserved for extra special occasions, as the other items will get me by without screams from coworkers, customers, the local Bi-Lo cashier, you get the point.

This spring season has been appropriately named in our case.  We've had more activities and events than Prince George during the first few months of his life. Last weekend was Laurel's wedding.  She and I have been friends for many, many years, as evidenced by this collage:

For years we performed together in piano and dance recitals, but today is the ultimate show. Happy Wedding Day, Laurel!!!

Rehearsal:

Wedding time!  We had a blast, and it was so beautiful.

 My wedding/engagement/maternity/newborn/AMAZING photographer, Valerie, was there working her magic.  I admire her talent SO much, and it was awesome to see her, as well as my FABULOUS caterer; when Rick's is involved, you know it's going to be the picture of perfection!

Aside from "I do" and "Who gives this woman to be married?" the most notable quote from the wedding took place while I was looking at the reception food.

"Excuse me, but what's the difference in these two kinds of green beans?" I asked another guest. "Well, honey, the difference is that one of them is asparagus."

Green bean imposter!

Will the real veggie please stand up?

I had so much to do last Saturday that I woke up Sunday morning at 6:30 (the time I usually arise unwillingly during the week) in an absolute panic.

"JAY, I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!"

"What?"

"Yesterday was Sunday, so that means....AHHHHH!!!!"

"No, today is Sunday."

I froze in terror for several seconds as the sunlight streamed in the windows; I thought that it was Monday morning and I had forgotten to drive back home.  What am I going to tell my boss??? What about my meetings??? What about daycare???

I imagine I was making the same face Ryan made when I told him I wanted a pair of Tory Burch shoes for Mother's Day.

Well, you asked, Ryan.

Speaking of work, I walked in our sales meeting last week with no portfolio.  After a one minute search of my work bag (that consisted of dumping it over) I realized that it was not there.  This may leave some of you wondering where I left it for the day.

The best use for a work portfolio is a Nintendo Wii stand.  And you can quote me on that.

We've gone from quotes to notes.  Music notes, that is.  While practicing in my parents' living room last weekend I smelled what I thought was wedding flowers.  I turned around and...

Me: "Hey, who sent this gorgeous arrangement?!?"

Mama: "The bank.  They made an error with one of our checks."

Me: "Man, I wish they'd bounce one of MY checks!  I love those!!!"

Customer service meter explosion

And while we're talking about numbers, a sweet baby girl turned SIX months old last Tuesday.

HALF a year old already?  It's a good thing that I've already contacted the CEO of Toys R' Us about her first Birthday party.  Just kidding...sort of.

Her hair color and clothing size may have changed, but one thing remains since the day she was born, and that's a love of eating.  Before most meals she's more ravenous than a lion judging a hippopotamus pageant.

"AND THE WINNER IS...."

GULP!

And now she has meltdowns if she's not at the table with us in her high chair while we're eating dinner.

What?  I just want to be part of the family!

And what better a way to commemorate turning six months than with a gourmet favorite: pureed green beans.

She did not like the airplane zoom.  Eating is no funny business to her.

Gimme that spoon, Daddy.  You're not feeding me fast enough.

Ahhh...that's more like it.

We'll have to regretfully decline the Queen's invite to dinner until we establish some table manners.

Every good eater needs good exercise.  One fun activity includes flying around on Uncle Jay Airlines.

We always travel with a damage control bag, and I don't mean wipes and medicine.  I'm talking about TOYS.  The success rate of the brightly colored animals, startling squeaks, and lights keep her entertained and at peace for hours.  But when I carry this bag-o-goodies around I get strange stares as I walk by...especially when the Laugh & Learn dog goes off.

HUG ME!

TUMMY TIME!

THAT TICKLES!

WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?

LET'S COUNT!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

YAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Suspicious package puppy alert...

But hey, whatever works!!!

We also had our latest official six month checkup with our fabulous pediatrician.  At 19 pounds she is in the 96th percentile for weight and the 99th percentile for height.

For those of you to whom these facts mean nothing (admittedly I was in your shoes until she was born) this means that out of 100 children only one would be taller than she is at this point and only four would weigh more.

If only these companies would merge...

Despite being strong enough to punch the nearest kid in the nose who would look at her the wrong way, she is just a big cuddly teddy bear.  She smiled and giggled at every single person in that doctor's office, including but not limited to: the receptionist, the lady who asked about our bill (the insurance STILL isn't straight- their company logo needs to be a toilet), the nurse who weighed her (my biggest fear as a kid), our awesome pediatrician, the Winnie the Pooh art on the wall, and even the nurse who delivered her shots.  You would have thought the lady had just informed her that she'd be getting her first ice cream cone.

She cried for about five seconds until I picked up her red faced, teary eyed little body and she looked right back at the pain inflicting nurse with the biggest grin.

"I know you tried to hurt me and all, but I still like you, anyway."

All doctors should have the right to care for patients this sweet.

We also had a lovely and equally hilarious visit with my grandparents on Friday.

1) While letting them talk to my parents on Facetime they promised me they'd only use it for a minute or two so it "wouldn't waste the film on the camera."

2) I later noticed something different about their living room, and the following conversation occurred:

"Nanny, what happened to your mirror?"

Her eyes dart to my grandfather with an I-told-you-so look.

"JIM, THAT was the crash last night!!!"

"Oh, Heavens, Wendy!  I thought it was the garbage folks!"

"And I thought it was someone in the apartment."

Lightbulbs start turning on.

"Well, I was close; It WAS inside the apartment.  And Jim, we both ate lunch and watched television in here all day and never noticed it."

"By Joe..."

3) While playing games with Emerson in the playpen, my grandfather says, "LOOK, Wendy!  She's trying to SAY something!  Let her talk!"

We all listened for ten seconds when Emerson accidentally bumped the notorious learning puppy, but Nanny didn't see that.  All she heard was a baby voice say, "HERE IS MY FOOT!"

SHE'S A GENIUS!!! Nanny almost jumped three feet.

"Wendy, that was the dog."

Stay tuned for my next speech entitled, "These are my hands and legs."

There is absolutely never a dull moment with them.  Forget P90x; just go to their house for the laughing abdominal workout of your life.

Next weekend is going to be an EXPLOSION of fun- Mother's Day, her baby dedication, a special dinner in her honor, and much more excitement.  Guests will include the princess herself...

And her maid.

Stay tuned!!!

An Eggs-tra Special April!

"I'll take Holidays with Infants for $1000."

"Alex, what is 'Emerson's First Easter'?"

You win the GRAND PRIZE!!!

Here's hoping that you have a bowl full of 75% off Easter candy in front of you, because tonight's post is full of sugary sweetness.  This month has been packed with more excitement than a one minute trip to an amusement park.

Sorry, but even a Fast Pass isn't that quick...

We kicked off the last few weekends with a Birthday/Easter themed lunch for my Dad, Mom, and Nanny.  

While decorating the cake I decided to abbreviate names in order to include all three of them on the cake.  What's particularly hilarious is that the first initials of "Wendy, Ann, and Randy" actually spell "war." 

Isn't that just about accurate with family?

PS...208 is their combined number of ages...as if Birthdays don't make one feel old enough already!  It wasn't my intention to cause any emotional damage; I just kept eating those delicious, sugary numbers.

Ryan thinks a weekend with my family will include a little R&R?  HA!!!

Spring is also full of love, right?  The following Saturday was Jennifer & Justin's lovely outdoor wedding.  And my wedding caterers were there.  Have I mentioned that I'm obsessed with them???

*This is an unsolicited advertisement for Rick's Catering in Laurinburg, NC*

Husbands are funny creatures.  Ryan may be quiet, but he's also absolutely hilarious.  I'm going to catch him on camera one day.  A recent notable quote took place while I was decorating our house for Easter.

Me: "When people walk in our home, I want them to automatically know what season it is."

Ryan: "Well, when's cleaning season???"

In Ryan's world our home decor would be the same on March 15th, July 4th, December 25th, you name it.  It would include nothing festive.  But that's just not the Katharine way.

Last week I had a small Easter themed dinner, and somebunny was the life of the party!

Those GLASSES.  Thank you, Daniela!!! Emerson loved them so much that I don't think we took them off the whole evening.  Shouldn't we all be able to see life through such rosy colors?

I was super stoked about doing my first "teacher" gifts for the amazing ladies that keep my bundle of love every day.  Did you know that you can customize greeting cards at Walgreens?  My imagination is running wild with future possibilities, and I put my spin on this card from front to back.

The inside of the card read:

Happy Easter to my Incredible Infant teachers!!!

Thank you for your EGGS-cellent care and your HOPPY smiles each day, even when I am a BASKET case.

Love,

Emerson Moody

2014

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another..." 1 Peter 4:10

Part of last weekend's fun took place at Outback.  You may remember Emerson's last visit there, aka the Outback Blowout, so naturally I was nervous about this trip.  The poor baby was so tired all the way there but thought she would be Chairman of the welcoming committee upon our arrival.

This kid is a people MAGNET.  She made friends with people outside on the porch, around the waiting area, the waitress, those sitting near us, and even a nice lady in the bathroom who looked on in pity as I fought with the "Koala" changing station- appropriate for Outback, might I add. 

Excuse me, but where's MY cup of sweet tea?!? 

She was such a precious cuddle bug during the meal, and it was only at the end of the evening that her pterodactyl noises began garnering attention from our fellow eaters.

ARRRRKKKKK!!!!!

Our first Easter weekend as a family was magical for many reasons, one being a reveal party for Ryan's cousin Scott and his wife, Laura.  We brought our little bunny along to hear the big news.

IT'S....A........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, in case they want you to hear the news from them, I won't steal the thunder.  But suffice it to say, we are SO happy for Laura and Scott. : D

And it's always a blast to spend time with my friends AND Emerson.  That's double the sweetness.

Easter Sunday was the MOST special day!!!  It started out with a wonderful, packed service at church.  It's always fun to see a sea of pastel in the congregation.  But more important is the fact that everyone is there to hear the Word and celebrate our risen Lord.

After church the flood gates opened for Emerson's visitors.  

Look, it's the golden egg!!!

And she had her first, traditional Easter Egg hunt at the Coleman's!

For the record, who would have thought that Easter Sunday at the end of April would be so windy and cold???

Peter Cottontail freezing-his-tail-off

Just as I did for her Valentine's Day photos I hit up every store within a 50 mile radius of our house in order to get ideas for Easter props.  One morning our living room became a makeshift studio as Jay kept her attention with car keys and toys while I snapped away.  I'd venture to say that aside from the latest bag of Cheetos my Nikon camera was an excellent investment.

"They" told me all along that having a baby changes your life.  What I didn't realize is how much physical evidence there would be all over the house.

Every. single. area of our home has something pertaining to Emerson in it.

Kitchen? Rice cereal all over the counter

Great room? Jumper, swing, and play gym

Drawers? Bows and bottle parts

Bathroom sink?  Soaking the latest soiled outfit

The list CONTINUES!!!

She is now in the stage of putting everything in her mouth, making our watch over her increasingly challenging.

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...

This newfound hobby of hers got me thinking...what if adults put decided to chew on everyday objects?  Can you imagine me at my next office meeting, smacking on a stapler in between presentations?

I'm sorry, can you repeat that part about this year's revenue goals?  This Scotch tape roll is DIVINE!

And speaking of things that are awkward, last week I and several coworkers went to lunch.  In this edition of customer service 101, here is a friendly reminder of how not to handle your table as a waitress:

We were ignored for the first ten minutes, she got extremely huffy with us when we would ask for something as simple as a refill, and when one of us asked why our salad dressing was missing we were told, and I quote: "I am not an Octopus.  I don't have eight arms.  I'll get it."

Wait, WHAT?!?

In hindsight I should have thanked our waitress; I laughed away all of the calories contained in my meal.  It was so rude it was downright hysterical.  So the next time someone asks you to do something, politely tell them to go get another arm. 

In other world news, did you hear about the recent devastation that took place in Belk?

It appears that Hurricane Ann and Katharine caused a whirlwind of destruction in the baby clothes section.  

I believe our work here is done.

My name is Katharine, and I am addicted to baby clothes.

The odds of looking at baby girl clothes and not buying anything would be comparable to getting a letter from the government saying you're tax exempt.

It's not going to happen.

"I WANT YOU to clear out the inventory at Belk.  I believe you can do it.  It's the American way..."

And behind every cute baby outfit is a good detergent.  Did you know that I'm now a certified dump truck driver?  That's right.  At least once a week someone decides that the car seat doubles as a port-o-potty.

Striptease: it's not what you think.

You know what was pointed out to me this week?  "Christmas" is taboo, but all over the news stations this weekend, EVERYTHING said "Happy Easter."  We can celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, but not the birth?  So strange.

Speaking of all things that are Spring, pollen, like sin, takes over us.  It's impossible to avoid it, and it dirties a Ferarri just as easily as it does a rusted, old bicycle.  Jesus sees all of our sins, regardless of anyone's social status.  He sees the famous and the unknown.  Take a look at this picture for a reality check:

As we reflect on the meaning behind Easter it reminds us of the incredible sacrifice our Savior made on our behalf.  No other religion has a "god" who rose from the dead, LIVES, and WILL LIVE forever.  It's so difficult for us to grasp the concept of eternity, but it's a reality.  If Christians don't stand up in a world that's against Him and spread the news when that same world wants us to hide it, who will?  

Some people don't want to believe in a Hell.  Why would a loving God allow people to go there?  They don't deserve that. To which I would ask that person: Why would a just God allow a sinner to live in eternal glory in Heaven?  They don't really deserve that, either, do they?

My prayer is that everyone would choose Him and serve Him; not just on holidays and special occasions, but every single day of their lives.  He knows that we'll fail, but if we've accepted Him we are covered in His mercy.  It's really not much more complicated than that.

This weekend I have several musical commitments that I so much enjoy and will be running in more directions than a feline in a catnip store.  Thankfully, I thrive on chaos and busy-ness!!!

May you be blessed and healthy with an occasional cute selfie,